My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
4 words: hood of his car
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
