grandma shit on top of the toilet
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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