if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
