so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
