No stitches, just platelets and will power
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
