it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
