i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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