Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
