Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
