Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
how drunk are you?
Several
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
