Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
