if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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