I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
