remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
