You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
