If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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