Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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