don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
