Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
