How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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