Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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