They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
