Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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