you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
