i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i now understand why vodka
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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