im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
