I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
