This girl is more easily done than said...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
