KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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