thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
