i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
