so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
