We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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