I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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