The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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