I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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