worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
