dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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