I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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