its not stalking. its research.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
