Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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