We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
