I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
