have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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