their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
