You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i've created a new STD.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
