Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
