i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
