Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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