I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
