id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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