OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
